Sunday, November 06, 2005

Food chain


This is Emma's cat. Actually, he doesn't belong to our family, but try convincing either one of them of that fact! He's hung around our house for weeks, coming and going, and found that Emma was an easy target when he followed us home from the mailbox one day. We spend quite a bit of time trying to keep him from darting into our house when the front door's open even a crack. When she goes outside and finds him by our cars she exclaims, "Oh, here's our kitty!" (I'm absolutely positive that none of this is a result of me sympathetically giving him tuna casserole and milk out of sheer pity one day.) Those of you who know how much Garfield and I dislike cats are probably getting a kick out of the irony in all this.

Anyway, today I figured that if we're going to go down, may as well go down in flames. "What should we name "your" kitty, Emma?"

"Jer."

"Jer? Don't you already have several stuffed animals that you named Jer?" (I have no idea where she originally heard that word.)

"Yeah, but I like the name Jer." (It rhymes with "chair", by the way.)

So we're all outside with the garage door open, and Jer decides to head straight for the back corner of the garage. He's onto something. I wander back there, and sure enough, out darts this enormous rat, with Jer close on his heels. (Ok, it was probably a mouse, but he looked huge to me.) Unfortunately, Jer didn't drive the mouse OUT of the garage; instead, he merely scared him into a harder-to-reach-or-set-a-trap area.

So after my screaming is done, Garfield informs me that he thinks he knows where the mouse came from. "Oh?", I asked. "Yes, I left some cheese in the middle of the garage the other day. I meant to throw it out, but I forgot." (Ahem. I'm sensing a breakdown in cause and effect thinking here. I just stopped asking questions at this point. I mean, do I really want to know what my husband was doing with cheese in the garage?)

We're hoping our rodent friend doesn't have a family, or we may just have to keep Jer around after all. Oh, well...at least he's good subject matter for blog entries that go nowhere!

12 comments:

Krista said...

oh man, that was way too funny! Ya'l make me laugh. Has Maggie met Jer yet? I wonder how that will go..
you're too funny

Stephanie said...

Well, Maggie was begging at the gate to get out. Lucky dog would've been at the top of the food chain! Too bad we kept her from the action--THEN the story would've been exciting!

The Little Judisches said...

You are mistaken in thinking that dogs are above cats in the food chain. Bigger does not mean better. Jer knows that he is far superior than any of you. He cleverly made the mouse (rat) hide in a harder to reach place to insure his position at your house. He also conned you into feeding him tuna and milk. You should feel blessed that he has chosen to grace you with his presence for a time!

Stephanie said...

You know, I thought about that: a master-planned scheme that Jer developed to secure himself. Very likely! Although, I must stand up for Maggie; she's a wimp, but not when it comes to felines!

Pc3 said...

too funny...wrt a cats place in creation I find Kiplings just so story on the matter to give a satisfactory explanation.


http://www.boop.org/jan/justso/cat.htm

Pc3

Krista said...

Go Maggie!!

Grandfather said...

No, no; I'm afraid cats have many purposes in this life (and in the next, according to the ancient Egyptians...but we won't go THERE...).

I found some of those purposes when I was a cruel little boy. Some people think that a very rum thing to brag about -- except that I'm not bragging, and except that this is precisely the sort of evil and cruelty that cats happen to like.

Watch a cat with a mouse, baby rabbit, or what-have-you. My, but they are cruel!

Except for Jer, of course. Emma likes to call his lame antice, "Jer-iatrics". (Hey, don't blame me...I get it from Stephanie.)

Kim C. said...

Grandfather,
Our cat isn't a bit cruel - he always lets the mice go when he's done with them. Of course, some are in no condition to leave at that point, but it's all in good fun.
Fortunately he hasn't made any new friends in our current house.
Stephanie,
I've always thought that cats were like adults, and dogs are children.
Cats are fully capable of taking care of themselves, but they sometimes enjoy your company. They are independent, moody, sometimes snooty, but when they're ready to be social they come calling and are great company. Then they go away and leave you to your business.
Dogs, on the other hand, need constant care and reaffirmation of the fact that you love them no matter where they poop or what they destroy. They love you even when you're crabby - maybe more, because they need more reaffirmation when you're crabby.
Sometimes you wish they weren't so needy, but usually you're glad because it warms our motherly hearts to be loved and needed, even by someone who is helpless, slobbery, sometimes incontinent, and always hungry. Why else would we be so fond of babies?

Grandfather said...

Kim,

No, no, child; dogs are not at all demanding. The best ones are just quietly loyal. They get the job done. They walk in front of you on a trail that might have snakes. They go where you go, and keep you company, usually without any fuss, or slobbering, or whatever you said. You've prolly just had yappy-head dogs that never grew out of their puppyhood. Don't get those kind of lap-dogs; they're useless.

If cats are 'adults', as you suggest, then they're New-Age palm-readers, witches, or spoiled Hollywood-types. That's at their best; at their worst, they're just furniture-rending, hair-shedding litter-droppers.

The only purpose for a cat is to control mice in the barn or tack room. If they can't do that, then all they're good for is target practice.

(Present company excepted, Jer.)

Stephanie said...

Kim, please excuse my dear father.I wish I could say he's joking, but, um...let's just say I come from a long line of cat-haters. I only mildly dislike them compared to the rest of my family. (The cats, that is. Not my family.)

Rej the Garage Mouse said...

Hey Kim, think of it this way. Did you ever see a witch or a creepy person in a movie, that had a dog? Nope; it's always cats. Back to the ancient Egyptians, cats have been satanic and the scourge of the earth.

Cats are death! Just remember that, and teach it to your kids. I think this 'Grandfather" guy is pretty smart.

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