Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Stuck pig

I wish I was writing about something as romantic as Hawaiian luau cuisine, but no such luck. I'm talking about literally being stuck to a pig. There's no rendition of this story that can ease the humiliation, so I'll just tell it like it is.

Emma's piggy bank broke yesterday, which was a minor travesty in itself. But then, to add insult to injury, when I tried to use the new spiffy Super Glue gel Daddy brought to repair it, I ended up spending the better part of my evening glued to a ceramic pig. Yes, of course I know better than to touch the glue with my fingers. But apparently I was completely preoccupied, because this wasn't just a little accidental grazing of the finger...this was me actually using my thumb to press down for the full recommended 15 seconds...right on the glue.

So there we sat, pouring cooking oil all over me, the pig, and our counter top, in a vain attempt to release me. (Apparently the cooking oil is only to release your fingers that are stuck together. Hmmph. I'm way too smart to ever do that.) Garfield got online and found that Super glue only has one weakness: acetone. Thank goodness we had a bottle of nail polish remover on hand.

Problem is, it takes the acetone quite awhile to actually loosen the bond, especially if you've been pressing your thumb onto ceramic as hard as you can for 15 seconds. So meanwhile, I'm beginning to panic. Will I be stuck to this pig forever? I'm trying to gently pry, but that's a pretty painful option. Should we cut off a section of my thumb? (You may be thinking to yourself that we could break the majority of the pig off of me, and then I'd just be stuck to a small portion. You're forgetting that a 4-year-old girl is standing by as witness, and she's far more fretful over the state of her piggy bank than her mommy's thumb.)

So as I'm envisioning a humiliating trip to the ER, wondering how to nurse a baby while attached to a large pig, and being asked if I can still make dinner with one hand, finally, the acetone kicked in, and my thumb came right off. Ahhhhh.

The good news is, I certainly never have to worry about my daughter playing with Super Glue. I think she's scarred for life. And as for the pig's prognosis? That is yet to be determined.

Perhaps you're now a bit more grateful for that uneventful evening you had last night?


Denise said...

Oooooh, dear.

I don't think I have a comment for this one.

Kim C. said...

Your thumb came right off? Did you glue it back on?
[can you hear the smothered laughter?]
I'm only laughing because accidentally dumped half a tube of super glue on my hand a few weeks ago...and on Kaitlyn's hand...on the same day that Deanna glued her thumb to her tooth...

Stephanie said...

Hardy har, Kim. Good one!

Wow, now glueing a thumb to a tooth...that's an interesting thought! I guess we should all ban ourselves from Super Glue. Did you have to pour nail polish remover into her mouth? ;)

Janelle said...

Too funny, Stephanie! I'm glad you and the pig came out relatively unscathed! :)

-- the McCann family

Neal, Janice, Madeline, Aidan, and Evelyn said...

I have been stuck to a precious moments figurine, a tea cup, a toy airplane missle, and my own thumb...you are not alone!

Erik, Cathryn, Grace & Dixie said...

I'm laughing too hard to comment... :)

Krista said...

This is one of the funniest stories I have ever heard! And picturing you doing it makes it even funnier ;) Love you!

The pageant is on November 16th and 17th! :-o We practice 9 hours a week... hopefully that is more than enough!! :)

Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

I feel a little chill up my spine with this story...and not in a good way. ;)

Glad the acetone worked. *whew*