Lessons I learned today, upon taking three children ages five and under to Sea World by myself:
1. I'm obviously insane. If there was any doubt before, it's now been confirmed.
2. Even the most comfortable shoes will give you blisters after several hours of walking around in them.
3. Carrying a baby and a preschooler down steep, wet concrete stairs while laden with a full backpack is a very precarious thing. Climbing back up the same stairs with the same load is no easier.
4. When the seats say "Splash Zone", it's not false advertising.
5. The splash of a mammoth killer whale is not the same as that of a family member playing with you in the pool or bathtub.
6. Young children are painfully unaware of lesson #5.
7. The aforementioned young children may THINK they want to be splashed by a whale, until it actually happens, at which point they are likely to burst into tears and be tremendously insulted.
8. Third children are remarkably resiliant, and will take to whale splashes much better than their older siblings.
9. If the sign says "Sea Lion Interaction Area", it IS false advertising. It instead should read, "Area where Sea Lions lazily nap and occasionally yawn while onlookers gaze upon them from 25 feet away".
10. When you walk at Sea World, especially when pushing a double stroller with three children piled in, it will be uphill nomatter which direction you head.
11. If anyone ever compares you to a walrus in any way, be assured, it is not a compliment.
12. Despite all the above lessons, memories were made and fun was had, and I'm sure we'll do it again soon. Confused? For further explanation, refer to Lesson #1.
Emma, Garfield, and Elizabeth a few minutes after their first Splash Zone experience. By this point, the crying had stopped and there remained only a slight hint of their stunned expressions.