Today was a wintery day. A front blew in quite suddenly, bringing with it temperatures that are supposed to drop into the 20's tonight, and very cold drizzle. The skies were overcast all day, and the wind was howling. All in all, it made for a very contemplative afternoon. A quiet couch by the window and a cup of hot tea were in order, so I obliged.
And the timing of it was perfect, because I had a lot to consider. Did you know I'm pregnant? You did? Well, why didn't you clue me in on it? You see, up until today, I haven't really felt pregnant. I felt incredibly sick, but so much so that I wasn't able to concentrate on the sickness being related to a baby. Then the holidays came with all their splendor and distraction, followed by January, which was welcomed like an old friend, bringing with it hope of reestablishing some order and "normalcy" in our lives.
Which brings me to today. A cold, blustery day that I'd been waiting impatiently for---the day we were scheduled for a sonogram. So then why was I so darned nervous all morning as the hour closed in? Because reality was about to hit, that's why.
We really didn't care if our first child was a boy or a girl, and for the second and third we were only slightly more curious on the matter. But for some reason, I knew that the fourth child's gender (in our family's case) was going to make a big difference in the way our family dynamics would shape together. That doesn't mean we would've been disappointed either way. It's just that trying to imagine both scenarios painted completely different pictures. Would it be another sweet little girl, who would give us a four-to-one female/male ratio during the day? Or would it be another son, who would balance out the scales and give the kids another brother?
Knowing that the Lord knew this child and the number of their days before the foundation of the world gave me the comfort that I needed, but by golly, I was still nervous about finding out. Our family would be perfectly ordained the way God planned it...but what way did He plan?
We took our firstborn with us, and armed with caffeine, hoped the baby would cooperate. Sure enough, it did! But that sent us into a whole new slew of thoughts. Garfield, Emma, and I were all in a stupor for hours this afternoon as we let it sink in. So much to consider, now that we know! It was nice to spend the afternoon in prayer for this child in my womb, now being able to visualize him/her so much more, and having the time to process the reality of it all. Quite the delightful and blessed day.
Until next time...
...What's that you say? Oh? You'd like to know the gender, too? I'm sorry, I plum forgot that you might be interested in that little tidbit of information.
Well, if you care for me to share,
Think pink if you dare!
But I'll go *wink, wink*
Because our bundle of joy
Is a sweet baby boy!
(Thanks for playing along and reading this far.) :o)