Ok, if you're a mom, you won't judge me for recounting stories that happened while I was in the restroom. In fact, you'll know that that is, in fact, when many funny things happen. Kids have radars on them that sense when their parents are unavailable, which, therefore, gives them ample opportunity to temporarily lose all sense of good and evil.
For instance, a few weeks ago I left 5-month-old baby Garfield in his Boppy pillow, under Emma's "supervision" (against my better judgement, but what are you gonna do?) while I used the restroom. A few seconds later I heard a soft "hee, hee...he ate it". "Ate what, Emma?!?" I yelled, running out. "Oh, the piece of popcorn I gave him. He likes it---look, he's smiling!" Indeed he was, but I was not.
A few months prior to that, we had another funny incident while I was, ahem, unavailable. I was letting 3-year-old Emma look though all my drawers of "treasure" in the bathroom to keep her occupied (i.e. distracted from assisting me). She's pulling things out one at a time. "What's this, Mommy?"
"That's toothpaste, honey."
"Oh. And what's this, Mommy?"
"Oh, moist-a-rizer. And what's this, Mommy?"
"That's mouthwash, Emma."
"Oh. Mousewash." (As if this was such a logical and necessary part of our household grooming.)
When I told my dad the story, he came up with his own rendition of what Emma may have seen. (See picture below, and wonder why my father has so much time on his hands.) Maybe we can market it to Jer, the cat.
Anyway, if you have the pleasure of going to the bathroom alone, please, on behalf of all us mothers of little ones, enjoy it. I can't believe I took it for granted for so many years.