Sunday, May 25, 2008

On turning 30

I don't by any means think that 30 is old, not by a loooonnng shot. So it's not that. In fact, in alot of ways it seems like 30 is when you finally feel like a real grown-up. But it's strange how decade birthdays loom out there, isn't it? I mean, I'm only one day older than I was yesterday, but for some reason it sounds ten years older.

My twenties were very transitional, all the way through. From college, into marriage, through various job changes for my husband, to becoming a mother, through financially trying times, through familial issues, through having back-to-back babies, and then some. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There were some life highlights in there for sure, and there was also a chunk of time Garfield and I refer to as "the dark years". I hope at the time we didn't let on just how down and out we really felt. But all in all, it was a good decade.

Call me crazy, but I expect my thirties to be far better. I'm not saying we won't have transition or hard times; that's just life. But I do look forward to some wonderful times. Our family is growing and taking shape, and we see the Lord's blessings in abundance through our children. We also see why He squeezed us so hard in order to get Garfield to start this business. We would have never taken the risk if we weren't desperate and had nothing to lose, but in retrospect, it is just where we needed to head. We also have found such joy in our church family after years of searching around in the spiritual desert. I am about as happy right now as I ever remember being.

I'll confess: it feels strange. After years of trial after trial, the calmness leaves me a bit uneasy at times. It's like I'm waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop, I suppose. I look at our life today, which is so markedly different from our life a few years (or even a few months) ago, and I'm incredulous.

So I feel as though I'm teetering on a precipice. Looking back, I see bumpy terrain. There are patches of beautiful oases with sparkling water and lush gardens, and there are expanses of dry and bleak desert. As I wobble, about to let myself fall forward into a new decade of life, I'm really not sure what lies ahead. There's a veil of misty fog keeping it a surprise. But the Lord is good, and His promises are true. So I'm going to fall, and I expect He's prepared the perfect landing place.

8 comments:

Shannon said...

By the time your thirties are over, you'll have teenagers.

Shannon said...

I wonder now if that last comment was helpful or not...

Clarisa said...

Happy Birthday!!! I can't believe it's actually here- I bet you feel the same. Here's to our 25th Friend-aversary! Clink-clink! Was going to call today but since it's Sunday I'll wait so you can enjoy your day with the hubby and kiddos.

LYLAS ;)
Clarisa

Moderator said...

Good landing place? You bet...plenty of them! This is why I want you to let me take you up in the trike over the beautiful Hill Country of Texas; because from there, perhaps you'll get a glimpse of why I think life gets better as we go along in Christ.

His goodness is new every day, every year. Every decade, dear one!

Happy birthday, little apple of my eye.

Love,

Dad

Stephanie said...

Shannon, as much as I appreciate your well-wishes, I must admit that your first comment was an entirely new thought for me! I hadn't realized that when I turn 40, Emma will indeed be 15. Hmm. Thanks for giving me another reason to treasure this time in life! ;)

Michelle B. said...

Stephanie when I turn 40 Steven will be 20.

April Kuper said...

Okay, you've officially made me feel OLD - really, really old! Happy (belated) birthday, you young thing, you!! Enjoy being young and having the energy to keep up with your children while you're both young!!

Chef Mama said...

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy (repeat 5 more times) Birthday! You'll always be my little spring chicky!

Your dad's words are so true and so encouraging.

By the way when I turn 40....oh, wait, I already did. Well, I still don't have TEENAGERS! Phil turned 50 & still doesn't have any. Does that mean we're REALLY younger than our birth certificates say?

Hope your day was super & that your year will be even more spectacular than you can imagine.