Tuesday, June 03, 2008

It had to be done.

I don't know how I've avoided it for so long. (Having to buy a new bathing suit, that is.) Well, actually I do. Last summer I just wore the old one, and the summer before that I wore the cute maternity one. And the summer before THAT I wore the cute maternity one. And the summer before that I wore the one that I probably bought that year. Since I'm not going 3 for 3 on having summer pregnancies, and the elastic on the old one has seen better days, I had to face the music and go shopping for a bathing suit.

Now, I'm not much of a shopper to begin with, but c'mon ladies. Let's all agree that swimsuit shopping has to be slightly less pleasant than snake handling. If the snakes are venomous, then it's slightly more pleasant than snake handling. But just by a tad. You've gone all fall, winter, and spring happily going about your business when BAM! Suddenly you have to uncover your cellulite to the world.

Then there are the other annoyances:

You have to avoid the stores that seem to think that the only women who would possibly want to wear a one-piece a.) are over the age of 80, or b.) weigh more than 450 pounds. Since I don't fit either of those categories, that eliminates quite a few stores.

There are other process of elimination factors:

I don't want to spend a small fortune. That's 20% fewer to choose from.

I won't wear a bikini for modesty reasons. I don't care for prancing around in public in my bra and panties, and bikinis are no different. (Although socially acceptable.) There goes a whopping 70% of my options.

I have birthed three children. That eliminates another 10% of the choices.

I have nursed all three of the aforementioned children. Hence, another 10% of the choices are not flattering.


You math whizzes may have figured out that that equals more than 100%. My point exactly. The number of flattering bathing suits available for frugal, modest young mothers seem to be less than zero.

But alas, I did come home with one, merely to avoid admitting defeat. Besides, that would just mean having to go bathing suit shopping AGAIN, and I have important snakes to attend to, thank you very much!

10 comments:

Chelsea said...

I feel your pain! Last summer I LUCKED OUT on a suit at Target with a matching miniskirt cover up (which I refuse to take off). I'll be wearing that one until the elastic dies.

This year you might try looking at Lands End in October when there are closeouts. They have the best suits but they're only affordable at the end of season.

Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years said...

I gave up years ago, though I'm forever waiting to lose those last...um...40...ack! so that I can happily drop the $$ on a Land's End suit.

For now, it's a skirted one piece over which I tie up a sleeveless tee.

I wish I could find a nice Burka (sp?).

Hofwoman said...

I agree - Land's End always has great suits. They are pricey but they last forever and are very flattering :)

Sunshine said...

I agree Stephanie, I went the other day and didn't come back with one yet as I didn't find "the right one". I am still wearing one from at least four years ago...okay, I need to pay more and get a new one! I have enjoyed reading your blog! Sunshine

Anonymous said...

also try newport-news.com great suit for all figures and good prices

Brittany said...

So where did you go? I need to do the same thing. UGH!!!! I would love to have a starting place, if you don't mind sharing.

Bathing suit shopping is truly one of the worst things in the world to do. Glad I am not alone in my feelings:)

Amy said...

Amen and Amen! This subject is taking up a lot of my mental energy right now. I've even been so desperate as to call seamstresses and ask if they could "tweak" my current suit that was bought pre-babies. Apparently, my "tweaking" calls for a fairy-godmother of sorts, and they could not help.

Sarah and Jeb said...

i got a cute one piece at old navy for under $20. it's simple and black. i did feel like an old lady buying it though. my first one piece in like 20 years.

Sarah and Jeb said...

Stephanie, I think that you should post a pic of you in your new bathing suit & let us vote. Love, Kate

pinkexplosion said...

I feel your pain too!

I had to find a maternity swimsuit no less, and I swear it wasn't any easier!